thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD 

saint:

i don’t want to go to coachella for the concerts

i want to go to coachella so i can go celebrity hunting

lorde-oftherings:

texasnwhiskey:

danthemedicman:

dancybutt:

"what state do you live in?"

constant anxiety

Denial

Perfection

Florida

the-nestene-consciousness:

strawberry-taffy:

having an old tiny worrisome asian lady as my mother is a small burden

"i love u my dumpling"

To all the Tumblr users who tend to use tags very liberally:

thejadedkiwano:

Let’s play a game.

Type the following words into your tags box, then post the first automatic tag that comes up.

you, also, what, when, why, how, look, because, never

echoesofoswin:

leonkuwatastonguepiercing:

mukuroikusabaka:

finish this sentence: m

y body craves for the touch of mashed potatoes, the soft white flesh of the vegetable sliding over my body. i havent slept in fifteen days. only the beautiful rapturous gooey white semi solid plant matter inspires me to continue living. sometimes i like to imagine that the mashed potatoes have accepted me as their loving partner. oh can i dream.

What the actual fuck

A Twin Flame is a spiritual concept describing a special connection between two souls. The Twin Flames are thought to be a template for an ancient/eternal type of relationship between lovers.

faultinourstarsmovie:

One note = one vote. Like or reblog to vote for your state! Go New Jersey! http://thefaultinourstarsmovie.com/demandourstars 

hazifiy:

disheartens:

I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT awkward teenage girl who sorta wants a man but can’t really get one 

i feel this spiritually

corrupted-teens:

Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk

australian-government:

john green have had enough of your shit

prozd:

cherrizard:

when someone tells you about how much they love a character that dies later on

image

yeah…..they’re…..great…….

lameborghini:

lameborghini:

my physics teacher loves april fools day

i told him that his joke got 90 thousand notes on the internet and he was like “wow!! 90 thousand people think im funny” (he always makes bad jokes in class and no one laughs) and he was smiling really big it was so cute

hemmolifestyle:

relahvant:

codename-lol:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

are you kidding im going to use all of these

STINKY PICKLE

yogurt slinger